Journal, Uncategorized

how i bible study every day | what i learned after a week of bible study

I’ve committed myself to the journey—the journey of discovering my faith through the words of the Lord. I dedicate myself every night to reading the Bible and listening to God’s voice. Some days, his voice is louder than others, and sometimes I feel His presence stronger on certain days. But nonetheless, I hear Him and feel Him everyday. 

I’d always been interested in studying the Bible. But I just didn’t know how. I started listening to podcasts and searching up on YouTube on how to develop a Bible study routine. I managed to create a method for my Bible studying that I can follow every day without the pressures of taking notes in a certain way:

Scripture/Title 

Full Verse 

My interpretation of God’s message 

My thoughts and prayers to God

I find that in writing down the scripture and verse once full, I can remember is better. I use both my teen Bible and the YouVersion app on my phone to receive both translations of the Bible. I use the Common English Version in the YouVersion app, while my teen Bible is in the King James translation. I really listen to God’s messages and dissect His Words after I take down the scripture. I try not to put any of myself in the translation, because then I don’t think I’d be able to hear His full message. I leave my own thoughts to the section later on. (Which may sound like a contradiction, but at this point, I just translate almost word-for-word.) In “Thoughts/Prayers”, I become one with God. I write down all of my fears, anxieties, and hopes. I also thank God for what he has given me that day, even the small things. Such as, the sky I see that day, or a dessert I ate that day, or if one of my friends sends me a message. I thank God for everything because you only get today once. If I have sinners that day, I don’t hide it from God. I tell him. In doing this every night, it helps my anxiety from flaring at night because I’m overthinking everything that happened that day. I always add stickers too from my Ban.do collection!

What I Learned: 

  • I became consist in connecting with God when I dedicated a certain time to him. In my first few days of studying the Bible, I was studying really late at night…at around midnight. Some nights later. But with each day, I vowed to myself that I would study earlier than the night before. Last night, I studied at 9 pm. It doesn’t sound like a huge accomplishment, but I’m proud of myself for studying earlier than the nights before!
  • God has helped me become a better woman. He has lead me to faith-based reproduced made for women by women. When I started studying the Bible, I was very insecure. I hated the way I looked. I thought I could only be accepted by men because I didn’t wear makeup or dresses. I didn’t even have the confidence to. Before studying the Bible, I had no direction after graduating and the job I worked was not healthy for me. But God showed me that my worth was not expressed in the jobs I worked or the approval from my friends, but in how we connected and what I thought of myself. 
  • God is non-judgmental.
  • I should’ve saved myself for marriage. This is probably my one regret that I realize now that I’m on my journey of faith. Until now, I didn’t want to get married because I didn’t want to be committed to a man. I wanted independent. But I learned that being this way, and closing off myself to men, actually made me repel them. I still have crushes and I still want to be in love. But I just didn’t want commitment. Yet, I expected a man to commit to me, which was a contradiction. So, I’m slowly opening my heart and I think I may want to get married in the near future. 

I’m so excited to announce that I am an affiliate of The Daily Grace! They offer Christian-based stationery that’s super cute, bible study tools, mugs, and even a magazine subscription service! Click the link below to take a cruise through their products and use it when you make a purchase. (*This post is not sponsored by The Daily Grace, but being an affiliate means that I make a small commission when purchases are made!*) : MY AFFILIATE LINK! If you’re not ready to commit to anything, you can start with a FREE bible study and prayer guide!*

Thanks for reading, 

Twitter: @lepsoriasisclub

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Journal

i quit my job for my health, but now i’m lost.| how i’ve been feeling lately #1

Hi there.

I’m going to be honest with you: I do not feel my best. Mild, but prevelant anxiety has crept it’s way back into my life. I feel as I am in a fog, sort of listless in life. I do not enjoy this feeling in the slightest. But for today’s post, I will just vent and put everything out there. If you’d like to read more upbeat posts about psoriasis advocacy, here are some recent posts:

But if you’d like to stay, you can. And if you’ve ever felt the same way I have, you can always return here and read this post. You are not alone.

I’ve had to quit my job.

After graduating last month, there was pressure to find a job–immediately. I searched for weeks on Indeed, applying as fast as my fingers could type. For about a month, I was swimming in the sea of oblivion, not knowing if I’d ever get a job.

And then huzzah!

A job fell into place. But just as sudden it fell into my lap, it suddenly became toxic. I was hired the day I was interviewed and was convinced that the job would be smooth sailing. However, that wasn’t the case. There were many issues from the start that I pretended didn’t exist. Besides that, the job was physically taxing on my body. Even though I only worked a few days a a week, I was required to transport heavy equipment and move things that I wasn’t expected to while others stood around and watched. On Monday of this week, I came home and my hip was locked so tightly that I wasn’t unable to walk up the stairs. I cried for hours, went to work the next morning, and continued to suffer more. I understood that there was nothing that the company could do about my pain. But besides that, the environment itself was draining and I was often being commanded by the male employees and told to undo things just to redo them and be critiqued. I was also being rushed from the male employees for them only to get frustrated and snatch the work from my hands. Also, a male employee claimed he was “passing by me” and brushed up against me.

I quit the next day, after my manager coincidentally called me asking “how are things?”, and I didn’t hold back.

I’ve felt very alone this week.

Not being in school for so long and not being around my friends has taken a toll on me. I spent a lot of time alone and reflecting, often getting caught in my head and trapping myself in negative thoughts. Not being around people who are like me has caused me to feel very confused at where I am.

I’m struggling with the arthritis pain, upset that I haven’t adapted to it yet.

I’ve been struggling with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for close to two years. But since graduating, my pain has seemed to increased. I’m not sure if the depression/anxiety cycle has affected the pain in my joints, but I’m having a hard time coping. I know the pain is not my fault, but I often blame myself more times than not for how I’m feeling. It’s very hard to function when the pain is this strong. I remember the days (not too long ago) when walking around in the sun didn’t affected me. But now I spent most of my days in bed, blogging and reading, trying to distract myself from the pain. It’s frustrating to have pain every single day and not get a break.

I feel very lost and it’s as if I’m floating.

I don’t like talking about my condition with my friends. I usually just keep everything bottled inside. Just a few nights ago, I did open up to a friend and I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I opened up to them. They were asking questions about the pain, trying to find a situation in how pain related to them. But they haven’t responded to my messages in about two days and I fear that I have burdened them with my problems. I don’t like speaking about psoriasis unless it’s with someone who has experienced the same as me, because I think others without it, struggle to process the severity of it and flee or they say, “I’m sorry,” and we move on. No one is obligated to listen to me. I will not force them to.

Thanks for making it to the bottom, if you did! I’d like to make this a series called “How I’ve Been Feeling Lately,” maybe posting weekly updates on my physical and emotional health. Let me know if I should continue!

I’m currently taking written submissions to be featured on the blog! Send me a DM on Twitter @lepsoriasisclub or send me an email: thepsoriasisclub@outlook.com

Love always,

-TPC

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