Journal

i quit my job for my health, but now i’m lost.| how i’ve been feeling lately #1

Hi there.

I’m going to be honest with you: I do not feel my best. Mild, but prevelant anxiety has crept it’s way back into my life. I feel as I am in a fog, sort of listless in life. I do not enjoy this feeling in the slightest. But for today’s post, I will just vent and put everything out there. If you’d like to read more upbeat posts about psoriasis advocacy, here are some recent posts:

But if you’d like to stay, you can. And if you’ve ever felt the same way I have, you can always return here and read this post. You are not alone.

I’ve had to quit my job.

After graduating last month, there was pressure to find a job–immediately. I searched for weeks on Indeed, applying as fast as my fingers could type. For about a month, I was swimming in the sea of oblivion, not knowing if I’d ever get a job.

And then huzzah!

A job fell into place. But just as sudden it fell into my lap, it suddenly became toxic. I was hired the day I was interviewed and was convinced that the job would be smooth sailing. However, that wasn’t the case. There were many issues from the start that I pretended didn’t exist. Besides that, the job was physically taxing on my body. Even though I only worked a few days a a week, I was required to transport heavy equipment and move things that I wasn’t expected to while others stood around and watched. On Monday of this week, I came home and my hip was locked so tightly that I wasn’t unable to walk up the stairs. I cried for hours, went to work the next morning, and continued to suffer more. I understood that there was nothing that the company could do about my pain. But besides that, the environment itself was draining and I was often being commanded by the male employees and told to undo things just to redo them and be critiqued. I was also being rushed from the male employees for them only to get frustrated and snatch the work from my hands. Also, a male employee claimed he was “passing by me” and brushed up against me.

I quit the next day, after my manager coincidentally called me asking “how are things?”, and I didn’t hold back.

I’ve felt very alone this week.

Not being in school for so long and not being around my friends has taken a toll on me. I spent a lot of time alone and reflecting, often getting caught in my head and trapping myself in negative thoughts. Not being around people who are like me has caused me to feel very confused at where I am.

I’m struggling with the arthritis pain, upset that I haven’t adapted to it yet.

I’ve been struggling with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for close to two years. But since graduating, my pain has seemed to increased. I’m not sure if the depression/anxiety cycle has affected the pain in my joints, but I’m having a hard time coping. I know the pain is not my fault, but I often blame myself more times than not for how I’m feeling. It’s very hard to function when the pain is this strong. I remember the days (not too long ago) when walking around in the sun didn’t affected me. But now I spent most of my days in bed, blogging and reading, trying to distract myself from the pain. It’s frustrating to have pain every single day and not get a break.

I feel very lost and it’s as if I’m floating.

I don’t like talking about my condition with my friends. I usually just keep everything bottled inside. Just a few nights ago, I did open up to a friend and I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I opened up to them. They were asking questions about the pain, trying to find a situation in how pain related to them. But they haven’t responded to my messages in about two days and I fear that I have burdened them with my problems. I don’t like speaking about psoriasis unless it’s with someone who has experienced the same as me, because I think others without it, struggle to process the severity of it and flee or they say, “I’m sorry,” and we move on. No one is obligated to listen to me. I will not force them to.

Thanks for making it to the bottom, if you did! I’d like to make this a series called “How I’ve Been Feeling Lately,” maybe posting weekly updates on my physical and emotional health. Let me know if I should continue!

I’m currently taking written submissions to be featured on the blog! Send me a DM on Twitter @lepsoriasisclub or send me an email: thepsoriasisclub@outlook.com

Love always,

-TPC

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Life with Psoriasis

psoriasis q + a: what it’s like living with psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis

Lately, as I’ve been writing more blog posts and trying to find others with psoriasis to connect with, I’ve been wondering if there was anyone who wanted to learn about psoriasis? I am always more than happy to provide my experiences on treatment, mental health, and my journey. But, I was beginning to feel like maybe I wasn’t answering the questions that those without psoriasis wanted to know. Luckily, Unwanted Life guided me, and gave me questions to answer to bring awareness to psoriasis + psoriatic arthritis! Thank you so much for this. 🙂

What’s the difference between having really bad dry skin problems and psoriasis?

The biggest difference is that psoriasis causes your immune system to weaken, whereas dry skin can just be caused from the soap you’re using, your environment, your diet, and stress levels. Dry skin may cause a little bit of flaking and minor pain. Dry skin is relatively the same across the board. With psoriasis, there are different types that all vary in levels of pain, treatment, and damage to the skin.

What are the different kinds of psoriasis and how can they affect you?

There are several different types of psoriasis! Just so I don’t share any incorrect information, here are the definitions as stated on The National Psoriasis Foundation website (psoriasis.org)!

  • Guttate Psoriasis:

Guttate psoriasis appears as small, round spots called papules [PAP-yules] that are raised and sometimes scaly. Guttate lesions usually appear on the arms, legs and torso, with rare cases forming in the scalp, face and ears.

Guttate psoriasis often develops suddenly and may appear after an infection like strep throat. It is a good idea to consult with your health care specialist to be checked for strep throat if you have guttate psoriasis, as that infection can occur without any obvious symptoms.

  • Inverse Psoriasis:

Inverse psoriasis (also known as intertriginous psoriasis) shows up as very red lesions in body folds. It may appear smooth and shiny. Many people have another type of psoriasis elsewhere on the body at the same time.

Inverse psoriasis is found in the armpits, groin, under the breasts and in other skin folds on the body.It is particularly subject to irritation from rubbing and sweating because of its location in skin folds and tender areas. It usually lacks the scale associated with plaque psoriasis due to the moist environment. It is more common in overweight people and people with deep skin folds.

  • Pustular Psoriasis

Pustular [PUHS-choo-lar] psoriasis is characterized by white pustules (blisters of noninfectious pus) surrounded by red skin. The pus consists of white blood cells. It is not an infection, nor is it contagious.

Pustular psoriasis is primarily seen in adults. It may be limited to certain areas of the body — for example, the hands and feet. Generalized pustular psoriasis also can cover most of the body. It tends to go in a cycle with reddening of the skin followed by pustules and scaling.

  • Erythrodermic Psoriasis

Erythrodermic [eh-REETH-ro-der-mik] psoriasis is a particularly inflammatory form of psoriasis that often affects most of the body surface. It may occur in association with von Zumbusch pustular psoriasis. It is a rare type of psoriasis, occurring once or more during the lifetime of 3 percent of people who have psoriasis. It generally appears on people who have unstable plaque psoriasis. This means the lesions are not clearly defined. Widespread, fiery redness and exfoliation of the skin characterize this form. Severe itching and pain often accompanies it.

What treatments are available for the different kinds of psoriasis?

Quite a few treatment options are available, such as injections, oral medications, topical creams, and even light therapy (phototherapy). I have only ever used topical creams and taken pain medication for my inverse + guttate psoriasis. Treatments like phototherapy or injections are incredibly expensive, and unfortunately, I am unable to afford them even with insurance. I know that both of these treatments have to be administered by a doctor, which require weekly or bi-weekly visits. There are phototherapy kits on Amazon to use as a home remedy, but I would recommend having a doctor administer the treatments in a medical setting.

Which moisturisers do you recommend for the dry skin psoriasis sufferers?

A few posts ago, I mentioned the wonders that the Curel Hydratherapy Wet Skin Moisturizer did for my skin (see how i saved my psoriatic skin). MG217 Medicated Multi-Symptom Coal Tar Ointment, MG217® Medicated Conditioning Coal Tar Shampoo, and Psoriasin Deep Moisturizing Ointment . (MG217 is approved by The National Psoriasis Foundation! My Patient Navigator Emma sent me several samples from this brand!) Anything with coal tar in it is extremely effective in relieving psoriasis symptoms. I’ve had complete healing from lesions and “holes” left from guttate psoriasis. However, it is very potent in both color and smell. Coal tar will stain your clothing, bedding, and skin a greenish-yellow tint. It has spread across my clothing, leaving trails of yellow streaks on white clothing in particular. If you use any of these topical creams, be sure to wear dark clothing!

And would they work for people who just have really bad dry skin?

Possibly! Though, it may be too strong for those who have mild dry skin.

How has having psoriasis affected your mental wellbeing?

In my last post psoriasis confidence?: i’m still not comfortable with my body, I gave sort of an in-depth account of how psoriasis caused my self-confidence to plummet and even affected my perception of myself as a woman. It has mostly affected my mental state in negative ways, causing me to have a low-self esteem. I’m still on the journey to accepting my body, but on more days than not, it’s hard.

What has helped you with your mental health recovery with tackling your psoriasis?

Talking about it with people who will listen has been the most effective method to helping me recover mentally. Sometimes, even if people don’t listen, I still talk about it anyway, just so it doesn’t fester in my mind and cause a panic attack. I’ve also begun riding my bike to relieve stress and actually, this is good for when you have arthritis, because it keeps your joints moving. Yet, I’ve also found that spending time alone has provided positive and negative outcomes in healing. For example, sometimes I like to be alone where I can read and be under my heating blanket in the quiet. But other times, I need to be around people because I don’t feel safe with being alone. Overall, just talking about it and finding a community online has begun to help me.

Is psoriasis something you’re born with, like a genetic disease, or is it something that can affect anyone?

I was not born with psoriasis, but it is a genetic disorder! I formed psoriasis after years of stress and anxiety, which was enhanced by a poor diet and lack of nutrition when I studied abroad in Hong Kong. I did have “eczema” as a kid, but looking back, I think it might’ve been a children’s form of psoriasis. But I’m not too sure.

What coping strategies do you have that you find affective for living with psoriasis, so that other suffers can benefit by using them for themselves?

  • Having open discussions with friends and family
  • Researching online everything you can so it’s not as scary
  • Reaching out to NPF because they have a reassuring and kind social media team that answers any questions you have, any time you have them
  • Speaking with a trusted doctor and being honest about your mental health
  • Looking for online support groups/others who have psoriasis
  • Watching YouTube videos online about how others cope, and listening to their stories
  • Be willing to try different methods of healing (topical creams, phototherapy, counseling for mental health, medication, meditation) and do not give up if a cream or medication doesn’t work. It took me about 2 years months to find an effective treatment!

Thank you to anyone who got this far in the post! I know it’s a bit long, but I wanted to answer the questions to my best ability. Thank you again to Unwanted Life for DM’ing me these really thoughtful questions. (Go ahead and give their blog and Twitter a follow too! They’re really supportive! 🙂 )I hope this helped you, and please don’t hesitate to reach out to either me or NPF with anything that you need.

Healing from psoriasis is possible. Just talk about it. Raise awareness. Try everything. You are not alone! 🙂

Love always,

-TPC

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Life with Psoriasis, Mental Health

psoriasis confidence?: i’m still not comfortable with my body

It’s been hard to admit, but I’m still not comfortable with my body.

I still am not content with how I look.

And trying to heal from the scars it leaves behind had been a long journey that I’m still on.

my hand.

This is my hand. I took this photo a little over a year ago. I don’t know if it’s too noticeable, but here (spring 2018) I was already showing the early signs of psoriasis. However, I was misdiagnosed by a doctor, who called it “neurotic excoriations.”

My hands would be covered in these itchy and burning patches that would bring searing pain every time I washed my hands. Then it started spreading up my arms, across my chest, and then down to my legs. At the worst point, I was unable to shower, go outside, and then later…wear clothes.

With psoriasis came hyperpigmentation, skin splitting, and lacerations. From around late fall of last year to early spring of this year (and even now), I didn’t know what it was like to feel pretty. I avoided looking in the mirror. When I did, all I’d see were my dry patches and flakes. Once the lacerations healed, I was left with dark scarring on my back, arms, and legs from the damage psoriasis had caused. I’d wear hats and hoodies every day to cover up my body. I felt ugly, and still do–even to this day. My body confidence has never been high. I’ve always felt I was subpar to the other girls in school. I tried to change myself (see my self image story) to make myself like other girls.

I wasn’t going on dates. I wasn’t hanging out with friends. In high school, I spent a lot of time alone, with my self-depricating thoughts about how I looked. When I was diagnosed with psoriasis, everything heightened. I beat myself up for letting the stress get to me. I blamed myself for forming psoriasis, cursing my body and asking God why He placed me in my own mold. Last semester, I determined that I would fit better in with male friend groups. I struggled with dissociating from my female identity because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to “be a woman”. I wore baggy clothes and a backwards hat every day for entire spring semester, because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to be feminine. (Mental health is an interesting thing, and I’ve never spoken about my dissociation from my female identity until now.)

I don’t think I’ll ever be as comfortable with my body. When I asked The National Psoriasis Foundation about how to cope with the scarring, they said, “time.” Right now, time is all I really have. I try to keep my skin as moiturized, but I can’t help the flashbacks I get when I look down at my skin and am reminded of the days where I’d lie in my bed and my skin felt as if I was on fire, not knowing if I’d make it to see the next day.

There was a beacon of hope when Kim Kardashian West released body makeup, and showed the amount of coverage the foundation provided, especially for people with psoriasis. Kardashian West has struggled with psoriasis for years, often speaking on her struggles, but sharing how she’s now accepted it. I was interested in buying this foundation. But then I wondered if it would really help me gain confidence…if I was just covering up the scarring, without accepting it first?

While I haven’t fully accepted my body or come to terms with it, but I know that there’s a potential to get there.

Thank you all for encouraging me to write this. Comment below what you link about KKW’s “pro-psoriasis” foundation! *Also, do you guys like my new logo??*

Love always,

-TPC

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Life with Psoriasis, Travel with Psoriasis

what look for in a disability accessible amusement park

Amusement parks, while fun and exciting, can create either memories of happiness or dread for someone with a disability.

Psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis is more than a skin-deep condition. It goes beyond the skin layers, and what I’ve learned is that what lies beneath the skin is more of a struggle to cope with rather than the skin sores and dry patches themselves.

Even though I have managed to tame my psoriasis flares, the joint pain from psoriatic arthritis is something that creates daily challenges for me. I cannot stand for long periods of time, especially in the summer heat. Walking far distances in parks can quickly become difficult, especially when there are not ample benches. I overheat easily, because my skin is already warm and inflamed on any given day. I tend to have shooting pain in my neck, wrists, and knees. Most days don’t pass without a nap curled in my heating blanket. On days I’m unable to nap, I become irritable, which then increases the pain.

Last week, I travelled to three major theme parks to not only experience what they had to offer, but see if they were accessible for someone with disabilities. Although going to an amusement park used to be a no-brainer, now I am a little hesistant when traveling to locations that have spread out attractions and require constant, all-day walking.

Disability Access Passes

There is no shame in obtaining a Disability Access Pass. It will create ease in your experience, and if this is something that you find helpful, then don’t be afraid to share it with others. However, I wasn’t aware that Disability Access Passes existed until AFTER I went to Disney World, Legoland, and SeaWorld Orlando. Yet, I was happy that this service was offered. They are all pretty much the same across the board: those with disabilities are allowed to either enter in the exit of a ride and enjoy the attraction at their leisure without the strain of standing in line. Or, you’re assigned a return time to come back to avoid the long lines. I really wish I’d participated in these services, as each day became harder to navigate the park with stand-by lines. But here are some links to Disney World’s, Legoland’s, and SeaWorld’s DAPs:

Disney World

SeaWorld Orlando

Legoland (Hero Pass)

Ample Seating/Indoor Rides

I recommend looking at video walkthroughs of amusement parks before buying a ticket. If you’re unable to get a wheelchair (or think you may not need one, like I do, but wish I had), it’s important to know how the park is laid out. I’d been to Disney World quite a few times and had known that there was plenty of indoor rides and benches to sit on when my arthritis started to flare.

However, I was not aware about how large SeaWorld Orlando was and the lack of benches and sitting areas. SeaWorld Orlando is laid out in an interesting way that requires walking right under the sun. There are pockets of trees to create shaded areas, but the park is virtually uncovered. I only went on one indoor ride that provided temporary relief. However, it was a motion simulated ride that ended in subzero, artic temperatures called Empire of the Penguin. It was so cold that staff was wearing parkas. But cold trigggers my psoriatic arthrtis, so I was not happy when I got off this ride.

Yet, I had a more enjoyable time at Legoland Orlando. It had plenty of shaded areas covered by trees along with benches to allow me to stop along the way. Quite a few of Legoland’s rides either had covered stand-by areas or indoor rides. Two indoor rides that were so accessible, I was able to ride them for than once was the 4D theatre and the Ninjago ride. The 4D theatre had bubbles, water, and air-conditioning so it was a safe space to cool off. The Ninjago ride was very fun, but did get tiring as it requires to use your arms repeatedly to activate the 3D screen. You sit in a large car that holds four people and you wear 3D glasses. In order to participate in “battles” to have to swing your arms forward in chopping motions to send simulated objects that will hit things and earn points. Here’s a video example:

Inside the Magic

If this is something that may be difficult, no worries! You can sit an enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioning.

Wheelchair Services

At all three parks, wheelchair services were offered. But it seemed as if SeaWorld was the least accessible for those in wheelchairs. There was a fair share of dips and hills on the walking paths that sometimes were expected and/or straining. Ironically, the least accessible area of the park was entering Seasame Street Land. I had a really hard time naviagating through this area as there is a large, downhill slope before you reach Seasame Street Land that was incredibly dangerous for those with and without wheelchairs. Also, the park is spread out, but packed. It’s a bit unnerving. Rides are in the back areas of the park, but when you reach that area, there’s a lot of other attractions that it becomes jammed with other park goers, making it practically inaccessible.

Legoland and Disney, however, were easier to navigate. There weren’t any significant hills I came across in either of the parks. The walking paths were wide enough for wheelchairs. While both parks are large, they are designed to comfortably fit wheelchairs, strollers, and walking park-goers without any added stress. (Expect for when Disney’s Magic Kingdom gets overcrowded for the fireworks, it may be hard to walk through, but this is at the end of the day!)

Overall, I would say that Disney World and Legoland have it down when it comes to accessibility services. SeaWorld does have room for improvements. Yet, all three parks offer something different, and fun for everyone!

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you’ve ever experienced an accessibility difficulties or would like to praise an amusement park for the services that they offer!

Love always, 

-TPC

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how i saved my psoriatic skin | coping with psoriasis

I can’t help but to get a little emotional when I think back over how much my skin has improved since I first noticed symptoms of psoriasis back in the fall of 2017. I’ve come a long way. Now, almost two years later, I feel like I’m in control, and I’m proud of myself from the progress I’ve made. The first step in coping with both chronic and mental illness is to give yourself a routine and know what works best for you. Routines can be calming in that you can control some aspect of your daily life. For me, routines provide a sense of relief and independence. Here are four things that saved my psoriatic skin:

The National Psoriasis Foundation

I cannot thank The National Psoriasis Foundation enough for providing me a source of support through one of my darkest moments. After a coworker told me that I had psoriasis (before I was clinically diagnosed), I immediately researched it and tried to find as many answers as I could.

Luckily, I stumbled across The National Psoriasis Foundation. I was matched with a “Patient Navigator” named Emma, who I’d email frequently to help figure out how to cope with my psoriasis. Around this time, I’d been developing guttate psoriasis alongside inverse psoriasis. Guttate psoriasis create small holes onto the skin that are basically open sores. This one is sort of terrifying to have scattered all over your body. However, the inverse psoriasis was the most pain I’ve ever experienced, as inflammation is on the inside of the skin, causing the skin to be sensitive to the touch. It felt as if an iron was always pressed against my skin.

Fortunately, Emma provided a warm reassurance that my psoriasis journey had just begun and that healing was possible. As a way to kickstart the healing process, she sent me samples of products catered specifically for psoriatic skin. These products lasted through my winter break and helped ease the symptoms. Psoriasis slowly began to feel like something I could conquer.

Also during that winter break, NPF invited me to Boston to attend the lighting of the Prudential Center. I met others who were just like me, finding their way through psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. I was even asked to speak at the event! Having a strong support system eased my anxiety and fear that I used to have about my psoriasis!

Curel Hydratherapy Wet Skin Moisturizer

Photo by OhToBeAMuse

I don’t know where I would be without this product. This was in the sample pack that Emma sent me. During the worst flares, I couldn’t shower. My skin would immediately dry in water, causing my skin to burn and split open. I was using products (with CBD oils) that I thought would soothe my skin. When in reality, I was doing just the opposite. I’ll never forget my first shower with this. I was almost brought to tears as my skin began to smoothe again. I’ve been using this since late December and haven’t had an issue with it. It’s activated by water, so you don’t dry yourself before putting it on. After using it for six months, my psoriasis has completely cleared. I fully recommend this (even if you have ezcema or dry skin).

Mario Badescu Sprays

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Mario Badescu saved my skin. I’ve used all three “colors”, however for psoriatic skin I found that the green tea one was the most effective in clearing dry patches and redness. I also started spraying this in my hair every day, and found that it eased the uncomfortable sores and scalp flaking that I used to be so embarrassed about. Now, I have little to no flaking when I brush my hair. Whereas before, it used to snow whenever I ran a brush through my scalp. It may not sound like a big deal, but it was unnerving and I became anxiously self-conscious whenever I’d scratch my scalp in class, and leave behind piles of dry skin.

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drinking water + changing my diet

It may sound a bit juvenile, but drinking water daily did wonders for my skin. Before I was diagnosed, because I was in a foreign country and having a nut allergy meant I was limited to eating what I knew: McDonald’s. It was convenient and relatively inexpensive. There were two McDonald’s on campus that I’d always go to for a quick meal. But in doing so, I was poisoning myself with the grease and only inflaming my skin more. Now, I don’t eat fast food as much. Instead, I trade fries for a fruit smoothie for a snack and drink plenty of water throughout the day. It may be annoying to constantly drink water, but trust me, it flushes out the toxins that will cause you to flare up. It’s essential!

These are my top four things that truly saved my skin. It hasn’t been an easy or quick journey in the least. I don’t know if people know this, but a side effect of psoriasis is actually anxiety and/or depression. I can second that. If you’d like to see a post about how I coped mentally with my psoriasis, let me know! (Skin-positive post coming soon. Thank you all so much for telling me it’s something you’d check out!)

Love always,

-TPC

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Mental Health

my self-image story

When I was a teenager, I thought I had to look like this–because looking like this equated to beauty, perfection, and success.

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

My high school years were doused in the obsession with British YouTubers, like Zoe Sugg and Niomi Smart who seemed to have it all together–proper businesswomen in blazers and a full face of makeup. While I was watching their seemingly-perfect lives, I was hating myself for not looking like them.

My skin is not porcealian like theirs. I’m African-American with Native American descendants, so I certainly don’t look like them. My hair isn’t silky smooth, tamed by products catered for those with their hair type. Clothing from high end brands just seemed unrealistic and unaffordable to wear through the hallways of high school. They always seemed to find their perfect shade of foundation, boasting about how Tarte’s Shape-Tape foundation was perfect for them, while people of color struggled to find a shade that wasn’t an ashy orange.

I forced myself to change, trying to fit their mold. I would browse the racks of Forever 21 in attempt to find something close to Zoella’s cozy knit sweaters or floral rompers, when my comfortable style consisted of graphic tees and jeans. I forced myself to spend more time on pounding a beauty blender into my skin, rather than on my mental health. I forced myself to become more feminine, not only to be like them, but to seek apporoval from everyone else.

Because the British YouTubers had such a success back in the early 2010s, venturing off on sponsored trips to Dubai or receiving free makeup kits from the brands us non-YouTubers poured our money into, it placed me in a mindset that the only way to even feel an ounce of happiness (or obtain an ounce of their riches) was to act like them. Only recently have POC YouTubers spoken out about the unfairness creators of color experience, particularly on trips sponsored by brands that are claiming to cater to anyone of any race.

Like, Dote. You’ve heard this story quite a few times, but that doesn’t make what Danielle Perkins had to go through any less valid. Below is what it is like to experience racial privlege in a social setting. It’s important to understand that this is not a fun situation to be in. I’ve experienced this first- hand through many of my school years. Honestly, it was pretty triggering watching this video because it was hauntingly familiar.

Now, things are starting to shift different. With more POC females being represented in mainstream media, such as Halle Bailey being casted as Ariel, there’s less pressure to try and look like someone you’re not. Instead, there’s more of an embrace to be someone that you are.

I would like to create a skin-confident version of this post about how having psoriasis affected my self-image. Let me know if that’s something you’d like to see.

Love always,

-TPC

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get to know me | 50 questions tag

Hi there! Ok, so I never know where to start. But luckily, Becca at Hello Moonies knows how. I was searching for a random facts question tag, and found hers. I thought there were some pretty interesting questions! If you’re stumped for an “about me” post, just search on Pinterest!

  1. Were you named after anyone? Yes. I think I was named after a family friend who my dad claimed I look like. (Kinda interesting.)
  2. When was the last time you cried? Almost cried yesterday at work. But I had a last good cry last week.
  3. Do you like your handwriting? I do, but it’s definitely not as neat as it used to be in high school–when I cared about my handwriting for essays. (In college, we just type everything!)
  4. What is your favourite lunch meat? I try to stay away from lunch meat, but it’s always going to be ham.
  5. Do you have kids? LAWD no. I plan to have no children ever in this lifetime.
  6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes definitely! I tend to gravitate towards shy people, because I too am a shy person and it’s a lot less pressure (for me) to make friends with introverts. I like to connect with others on a personal level, so I think me, myself, and I would be great pals!
  7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, definitely not. I’m a very literal person, and actually find sarcasm to be a bit anxiety inducing because I have deep-rooted trust issues. (*Thanks to my childhood.*)
  8. Do you still have your tonsils? I believe so, because I don’t remember ever getting them taken out.
  9. Would you bungee jump? Nope, not in a million years. I hate heights.
  10. What is your favourite cereal? Golden Grahams. The most slept on cereal of all time. Everyone goes for Cinnamon Toast Crunch and forgets the good GG!
  11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not always! But I hate when they’re too tight and my foot get stuck! 😦
  12. Do you think you are strong? I think so. Psoriatic arthritis is not fun, and it’s debilitating. Anyone with a disability is strong, because basic tasks for those who are able, like walking or lifting things, sometimes seem like mountains for us. Each day is a new day of proven strength.
  13. What is your favorite ice cream? Will forever and always be strawberry.
  14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes. The first thing I notice about people is how they look at things–whether it’s intensely or coyly.
  15. Red or pink? P I N K . ALL THE WAY. It’s my favorite color!!
  16. What is the least favourite thing about yourself? I get overwhelmed easily in fast paced situations. I hate being rushed, but sometimes you have to rush in order to get things done, particularly in the work place. I get a bit dissociative and anxious when things are moving too quickly.
  17. Who do you miss the most? I lost a friend to suicide last year. It was just before Thanksgiving, and it was one of the hardest moments of my life. He was such a light to all. I felt guilty for months.
  18. What is the spark feature that has helped you the most? Ooh, I wish I knew how to answer this. But I have no clue.
  19. What colour shoes are you wearing? No shoes, just my Incredibles socks!
  20. What was the last thing you ate? Cheesesteak + chocolate cake. Very healthy. 🙂
  21. What are you listening to right now? Nothing right now, but I was listening to “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee just a few minutes ago.
  22. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
    “Piggy Pink”. I just looked it up. Not sure if it’s a scam. LOL
  23. Favourite smells? Vanilla. Cedar. Apple.
  24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? A boy who I like actually and have liked for a really long time. But we’re too much of good friends, so you know how that goes…
  25. Mountain hideaway or beach house? Mountain hideaway. I’m actually not a fan of the beach because the sand irritates my skin.
  26. Favourite sports to watch? Basketball. Golden State Warriors for life.
  27. Hair colour? Naturally brown.
  28. Eye colour? Brown.
  29. Do you wear contacts? I’ve always wanted to, but I’m a chicken. The thought of putting something into my eye sends chills down my spine.
  30. Favourite food? Mac + Cheese with the cheesiest of cheeses, baby!
  31. Scary movies or happy endings? HAPPY ENDINGS ONLY. I know it’s not realistic, but please don’t ever have me watch a scary movie. I won’t make it past the opening credits.
  32. Last movie you watched? “Into the Spider-Verse”, after much pressure from my friends.
  33. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue with Toy Story clouds on it.
  34. Summer or winter? I LOVE WiNTER, which is such a contradiction to my health because I have to be in constant heat for my arthritis. But I just love snow, ya know?
  35. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. Kisses are gross and bacterial. You can hug everyone. You can’t kiss everyone or else you’ll combust.
  36. Favourite dessert? Pumpkin cheesecake
  37. Strength training or cardio? I don’t.
  38. Computer or television? Computer, because I can watch t.v., too!
  39. What book are you reading right now? I’m caught in between books right now. I’m trying to restart one: Note to Self by Connor Franta
  40. What is on your mouse pad? Ooh jeez. Haven’t seen one of those since 2008. And on that mousepad, it was a picture of my mom and I at Disney World.
  41. Any tattoos? Yikes never. Plus, I don’t think those are healthy for psoriatic skin, but I’ll research.
  42. Favourite sound? My friends’ laughing
  43. What is the farthest you’ve been from home? I went to Madrid, Spain for a senior trip in 2015, just before I graduated high school!
  44. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles! Are you joking? Freaking love those guys. I love them so much I have mugs, DVDs, and even walked on Abbey Road. I truly wish I grew up in their era!
  45. Do you have a special talent? I can crack my knuckles loudly thanks to my arthritic hands! (But I can also play guitar!)
  46. Where were you born? Maryland!
  47. Where are you living now? Atlanta, GA!
  48. What colour is your house? Blue + White + Brick??
  49. What colour is your car? Oof if I had a car, it’d be white!
  50. Any pets? Nope! But I’ve always secretly wanted a lil Cesar dog.

Well, there it is, kids! Thank you again to Becca at Hello Moonies for this tag. I also tag anyone who’s reading this.

If you want to talk more about me or psoriatic arthritis, DM me @thepsoriasisclub on Twitter!

Love always,

-TPC

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