Journal, Uncategorized

how i bible study every day | what i learned after a week of bible study

I’ve committed myself to the journey—the journey of discovering my faith through the words of the Lord. I dedicate myself every night to reading the Bible and listening to God’s voice. Some days, his voice is louder than others, and sometimes I feel His presence stronger on certain days. But nonetheless, I hear Him and feel Him everyday. 

I’d always been interested in studying the Bible. But I just didn’t know how. I started listening to podcasts and searching up on YouTube on how to develop a Bible study routine. I managed to create a method for my Bible studying that I can follow every day without the pressures of taking notes in a certain way:


Full Verse 

My interpretation of God’s message 

My thoughts and prayers to God

I find that in writing down the scripture and verse once full, I can remember is better. I use both my teen Bible and the YouVersion app on my phone to receive both translations of the Bible. I use the Common English Version in the YouVersion app, while my teen Bible is in the King James translation. I really listen to God’s messages and dissect His Words after I take down the scripture. I try not to put any of myself in the translation, because then I don’t think I’d be able to hear His full message. I leave my own thoughts to the section later on. (Which may sound like a contradiction, but at this point, I just translate almost word-for-word.) In “Thoughts/Prayers”, I become one with God. I write down all of my fears, anxieties, and hopes. I also thank God for what he has given me that day, even the small things. Such as, the sky I see that day, or a dessert I ate that day, or if one of my friends sends me a message. I thank God for everything because you only get today once. If I have sinners that day, I don’t hide it from God. I tell him. In doing this every night, it helps my anxiety from flaring at night because I’m overthinking everything that happened that day. I always add stickers too from my collection!

What I Learned: 

  • I became consist in connecting with God when I dedicated a certain time to him. In my first few days of studying the Bible, I was studying really late at night…at around midnight. Some nights later. But with each day, I vowed to myself that I would study earlier than the night before. Last night, I studied at 9 pm. It doesn’t sound like a huge accomplishment, but I’m proud of myself for studying earlier than the nights before!
  • God has helped me become a better woman. He has lead me to faith-based reproduced made for women by women. When I started studying the Bible, I was very insecure. I hated the way I looked. I thought I could only be accepted by men because I didn’t wear makeup or dresses. I didn’t even have the confidence to. Before studying the Bible, I had no direction after graduating and the job I worked was not healthy for me. But God showed me that my worth was not expressed in the jobs I worked or the approval from my friends, but in how we connected and what I thought of myself. 
  • God is non-judgmental.
  • I should’ve saved myself for marriage. This is probably my one regret that I realize now that I’m on my journey of faith. Until now, I didn’t want to get married because I didn’t want to be committed to a man. I wanted independent. But I learned that being this way, and closing off myself to men, actually made me repel them. I still have crushes and I still want to be in love. But I just didn’t want commitment. Yet, I expected a man to commit to me, which was a contradiction. So, I’m slowly opening my heart and I think I may want to get married in the near future. 

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Thanks for reading, 

Twitter: @lepsoriasisclub

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Mental Health

my self-image story

When I was a teenager, I thought I had to look like this–because looking like this equated to beauty, perfection, and success.

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

My high school years were doused in the obsession with British YouTubers, like Zoe Sugg and Niomi Smart who seemed to have it all together–proper businesswomen in blazers and a full face of makeup. While I was watching their seemingly-perfect lives, I was hating myself for not looking like them.

My skin is not porcealian like theirs. I’m African-American with Native American descendants, so I certainly don’t look like them. My hair isn’t silky smooth, tamed by products catered for those with their hair type. Clothing from high end brands just seemed unrealistic and unaffordable to wear through the hallways of high school. They always seemed to find their perfect shade of foundation, boasting about how Tarte’s Shape-Tape foundation was perfect for them, while people of color struggled to find a shade that wasn’t an ashy orange.

I forced myself to change, trying to fit their mold. I would browse the racks of Forever 21 in attempt to find something close to Zoella’s cozy knit sweaters or floral rompers, when my comfortable style consisted of graphic tees and jeans. I forced myself to spend more time on pounding a beauty blender into my skin, rather than on my mental health. I forced myself to become more feminine, not only to be like them, but to seek apporoval from everyone else.

Because the British YouTubers had such a success back in the early 2010s, venturing off on sponsored trips to Dubai or receiving free makeup kits from the brands us non-YouTubers poured our money into, it placed me in a mindset that the only way to even feel an ounce of happiness (or obtain an ounce of their riches) was to act like them. Only recently have POC YouTubers spoken out about the unfairness creators of color experience, particularly on trips sponsored by brands that are claiming to cater to anyone of any race.

Like, Dote. You’ve heard this story quite a few times, but that doesn’t make what Danielle Perkins had to go through any less valid. Below is what it is like to experience racial privlege in a social setting. It’s important to understand that this is not a fun situation to be in. I’ve experienced this first- hand through many of my school years. Honestly, it was pretty triggering watching this video because it was hauntingly familiar.

Now, things are starting to shift different. With more POC females being represented in mainstream media, such as Halle Bailey being casted as Ariel, there’s less pressure to try and look like someone you’re not. Instead, there’s more of an embrace to be someone that you are.

I would like to create a skin-confident version of this post about how having psoriasis affected my self-image. Let me know if that’s something you’d like to see.

Love always,