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Travel with Psoriasis

Celebrating #NationalIceCreamDay in D.C. with Jeni’s!

#NationalIceCreamDay

Yesterday, we celebrated #NationalIceCreamDay with Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams!

I’d found that they were “going on tour” in a cute ice cream truck and was heading to the northeast! I was pretty excited! Mainly, because I was looking forward to trying Tyler, the Creator’s “Snowflake” debut flavor (mint + white chocolate ice cream. Never was really a fan of mint ice cream, but was willing to try it just because of Tyler, the Creator). A man in front of us enthusiastically asked for “that mint flavor”, to which I perked up because I’m a huge fan of Tyler the Creator and and I looked forward to one of the employees sliding out a small cup of green and white ice cream. But unfortunately, it was unavailable and one of the employees said it was only at select stores. However, I was impressed by the friendly service of those working at the truck and how they even offered coupons to take! Nonetheless, there’s nothing much to complain about when you’re getting delicious FREE ice cream from a truck!

The Brambleberry Crisp flavor that I got was absolutely heavenly! It tastes just like a berry pie and had pie crust pieces in it. The berry filling was rich and sweet, but it wasn’t overwhelming. The ice cream was also smooth and creamy. This is a high quality ice cream that everyone needs in their life!

The truck was located at a local Whole Foods, which I hadn’t been in since late high school early college. (Surprisingly enough, one of my first dates was at a Whole Foods sophomore year of college. He took me to the hot bar, where I shoved Mac + Cheese into a recyclable container and ate it in his car. Very romantic, ladies! I know.) Whole Foods is very big, but it has everything you need. We also noticed a burger and fries station in-store. I also couldn’t help but pass up on the cute llama (or alpaca??) plant holder in front of me!

We eased our way on down to the wharf, but before reaching there, I snapped a shot of some local street art! Then we found this AWESOME pro-feminist Ruth Bader Ginsberg (my queen) jacket that was hand-painted!

We then visited a bookstore that had relatively every modern book that’s out right now. I was hoping for more of a vintage bookstore. Inside, however, were more up-to-date books such as Michelle Obama’s Becoming and Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime. There was a whole teen section that I fangirled over, but quickly realized that I’d read the majority of the books there, like All The Bright Places, Paper Towns, and Turtles All the Way Down. We left the store empty-handed, but wanted to stop by “milk” before we headed home.

I’d seen this place a million times on Instagram and Pinterest, so I was sort of brainwashed by the aesthetic of the place and what they offered from social feeds. The menu was a bit overwhelming for me, and I hadn’t noticed anything on the menu from vlogs or Pins. The employees that were working there also were maybe having a bad day and were just kind of not too nice. Plus, we found that a small cake (the one pictured below) was around $30. Even smaller items seemed overpriced. Going somewhere for the aesthetic and buying something overpriced can be an entire post in itself. (*Let me know if you want to know my thoughts on this!*)

The Wharf was beautiful and relaxing, but only for a few minutes. I enjoy being at the water. But because it was crazy, insane hot with a heat advisory, I began to sweat and my skin began to burn. (This is a common symptom of the psoriasis that I have. But it’s sort of triggering for me because it brings back dreadful memories of last year when I’d sweat and scratch and turn into a burning little ball.) At this point, I was about to have anxiety attack because I was beginning to scratch and I worried myself. We couldn’t find our car for a solid 20 minutes and I was slowly trickling down a spiral of panic and overheating, trying to ignore the stinging at my neck. Luckily, we finally found the car, and on the ride home, we passed by the Washington Monument! (*You can see my mom driving below! Teehee!*)

Comment down below if you’ve ever been to D.C.!

I am now taking submissions for guests posts on this blog! So, if you have psoriatic arthritis, a disability, chronic illness, or struggle with your mental health, I want to hear from you! DM me on Twitter or drop me an email at thepsoriasisclub@outlook.com, if you’re interested.

*Also: Recommend some YA books to me! Looking for some new summer reads!

Love always,

-TPC

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Life with Psoriasis, Mental Health

psoriasis confidence?: i’m still not comfortable with my body

It’s been hard to admit, but I’m still not comfortable with my body.

I still am not content with how I look.

And trying to heal from the scars it leaves behind had been a long journey that I’m still on.

my hand.

This is my hand. I took this photo a little over a year ago. I don’t know if it’s too noticeable, but here (spring 2018) I was already showing the early signs of psoriasis. However, I was misdiagnosed by a doctor, who called it “neurotic excoriations.”

My hands would be covered in these itchy and burning patches that would bring searing pain every time I washed my hands. Then it started spreading up my arms, across my chest, and then down to my legs. At the worst point, I was unable to shower, go outside, and then later…wear clothes.

With psoriasis came hyperpigmentation, skin splitting, and lacerations. From around late fall of last year to early spring of this year (and even now), I didn’t know what it was like to feel pretty. I avoided looking in the mirror. When I did, all I’d see were my dry patches and flakes. Once the lacerations healed, I was left with dark scarring on my back, arms, and legs from the damage psoriasis had caused. I’d wear hats and hoodies every day to cover up my body. I felt ugly, and still do–even to this day. My body confidence has never been high. I’ve always felt I was subpar to the other girls in school. I tried to change myself (see my self image story) to make myself like other girls.

I wasn’t going on dates. I wasn’t hanging out with friends. In high school, I spent a lot of time alone, with my self-depricating thoughts about how I looked. When I was diagnosed with psoriasis, everything heightened. I beat myself up for letting the stress get to me. I blamed myself for forming psoriasis, cursing my body and asking God why He placed me in my own mold. Last semester, I determined that I would fit better in with male friend groups. I struggled with dissociating from my female identity because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to “be a woman”. I wore baggy clothes and a backwards hat every day for entire spring semester, because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to be feminine. (Mental health is an interesting thing, and I’ve never spoken about my dissociation from my female identity until now.)

I don’t think I’ll ever be as comfortable with my body. When I asked The National Psoriasis Foundation about how to cope with the scarring, they said, “time.” Right now, time is all I really have. I try to keep my skin as moiturized, but I can’t help the flashbacks I get when I look down at my skin and am reminded of the days where I’d lie in my bed and my skin felt as if I was on fire, not knowing if I’d make it to see the next day.

There was a beacon of hope when Kim Kardashian West released body makeup, and showed the amount of coverage the foundation provided, especially for people with psoriasis. Kardashian West has struggled with psoriasis for years, often speaking on her struggles, but sharing how she’s now accepted it. I was interested in buying this foundation. But then I wondered if it would really help me gain confidence…if I was just covering up the scarring, without accepting it first?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaZBQ7zDedQ

While I haven’t fully accepted my body or come to terms with it, but I know that there’s a potential to get there.

Thank you all for encouraging me to write this. Comment below what you link about KKW’s “pro-psoriasis” foundation! *Also, do you guys like my new logo??*

Love always,

-TPC

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Life with Psoriasis

get to know me | 50 questions tag

Hi there! Ok, so I never know where to start. But luckily, Becca at Hello Moonies knows how. I was searching for a random facts question tag, and found hers. I thought there were some pretty interesting questions! If you’re stumped for an “about me” post, just search on Pinterest!

  1. Were you named after anyone? Yes. I think I was named after a family friend who my dad claimed I look like. (Kinda interesting.)
  2. When was the last time you cried? Almost cried yesterday at work. But I had a last good cry last week.
  3. Do you like your handwriting? I do, but it’s definitely not as neat as it used to be in high school–when I cared about my handwriting for essays. (In college, we just type everything!)
  4. What is your favourite lunch meat? I try to stay away from lunch meat, but it’s always going to be ham.
  5. Do you have kids? LAWD no. I plan to have no children ever in this lifetime.
  6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes definitely! I tend to gravitate towards shy people, because I too am a shy person and it’s a lot less pressure (for me) to make friends with introverts. I like to connect with others on a personal level, so I think me, myself, and I would be great pals!
  7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, definitely not. I’m a very literal person, and actually find sarcasm to be a bit anxiety inducing because I have deep-rooted trust issues. (*Thanks to my childhood.*)
  8. Do you still have your tonsils? I believe so, because I don’t remember ever getting them taken out.
  9. Would you bungee jump? Nope, not in a million years. I hate heights.
  10. What is your favourite cereal? Golden Grahams. The most slept on cereal of all time. Everyone goes for Cinnamon Toast Crunch and forgets the good GG!
  11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not always! But I hate when they’re too tight and my foot get stuck! 😦
  12. Do you think you are strong? I think so. Psoriatic arthritis is not fun, and it’s debilitating. Anyone with a disability is strong, because basic tasks for those who are able, like walking or lifting things, sometimes seem like mountains for us. Each day is a new day of proven strength.
  13. What is your favorite ice cream? Will forever and always be strawberry.
  14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes. The first thing I notice about people is how they look at things–whether it’s intensely or coyly.
  15. Red or pink? P I N K . ALL THE WAY. It’s my favorite color!!
  16. What is the least favourite thing about yourself? I get overwhelmed easily in fast paced situations. I hate being rushed, but sometimes you have to rush in order to get things done, particularly in the work place. I get a bit dissociative and anxious when things are moving too quickly.
  17. Who do you miss the most? I lost a friend to suicide last year. It was just before Thanksgiving, and it was one of the hardest moments of my life. He was such a light to all. I felt guilty for months.
  18. What is the spark feature that has helped you the most? Ooh, I wish I knew how to answer this. But I have no clue.
  19. What colour shoes are you wearing? No shoes, just my Incredibles socks!
  20. What was the last thing you ate? Cheesesteak + chocolate cake. Very healthy. 🙂
  21. What are you listening to right now? Nothing right now, but I was listening to “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee just a few minutes ago.
  22. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
    “Piggy Pink”. I just looked it up. Not sure if it’s a scam. LOL
  23. Favourite smells? Vanilla. Cedar. Apple.
  24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? A boy who I like actually and have liked for a really long time. But we’re too much of good friends, so you know how that goes…
  25. Mountain hideaway or beach house? Mountain hideaway. I’m actually not a fan of the beach because the sand irritates my skin.
  26. Favourite sports to watch? Basketball. Golden State Warriors for life.
  27. Hair colour? Naturally brown.
  28. Eye colour? Brown.
  29. Do you wear contacts? I’ve always wanted to, but I’m a chicken. The thought of putting something into my eye sends chills down my spine.
  30. Favourite food? Mac + Cheese with the cheesiest of cheeses, baby!
  31. Scary movies or happy endings? HAPPY ENDINGS ONLY. I know it’s not realistic, but please don’t ever have me watch a scary movie. I won’t make it past the opening credits.
  32. Last movie you watched? “Into the Spider-Verse”, after much pressure from my friends.
  33. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue with Toy Story clouds on it.
  34. Summer or winter? I LOVE WiNTER, which is such a contradiction to my health because I have to be in constant heat for my arthritis. But I just love snow, ya know?
  35. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. Kisses are gross and bacterial. You can hug everyone. You can’t kiss everyone or else you’ll combust.
  36. Favourite dessert? Pumpkin cheesecake
  37. Strength training or cardio? I don’t.
  38. Computer or television? Computer, because I can watch t.v., too!
  39. What book are you reading right now? I’m caught in between books right now. I’m trying to restart one: Note to Self by Connor Franta
  40. What is on your mouse pad? Ooh jeez. Haven’t seen one of those since 2008. And on that mousepad, it was a picture of my mom and I at Disney World.
  41. Any tattoos? Yikes never. Plus, I don’t think those are healthy for psoriatic skin, but I’ll research.
  42. Favourite sound? My friends’ laughing
  43. What is the farthest you’ve been from home? I went to Madrid, Spain for a senior trip in 2015, just before I graduated high school!
  44. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles! Are you joking? Freaking love those guys. I love them so much I have mugs, DVDs, and even walked on Abbey Road. I truly wish I grew up in their era!
  45. Do you have a special talent? I can crack my knuckles loudly thanks to my arthritic hands! (But I can also play guitar!)
  46. Where were you born? Maryland!
  47. Where are you living now? Atlanta, GA!
  48. What colour is your house? Blue + White + Brick??
  49. What colour is your car? Oof if I had a car, it’d be white!
  50. Any pets? Nope! But I’ve always secretly wanted a lil Cesar dog.

Well, there it is, kids! Thank you again to Becca at Hello Moonies for this tag. I also tag anyone who’s reading this.

If you want to talk more about me or psoriatic arthritis, DM me @thepsoriasisclub on Twitter!

Love always,

-TPC

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