Tag Archives: my

Life with Psoriasis

my period essentials | clue app, pain relief, and period underwear!

Periods, on their own, can quickly become a nuisance when our lives are so busy and we are always on the go. For all hours of the day, there’s just this constant care and constant pain. But when you’re struggling to cope with your mental health (or have a physical disability, or both) your period may seem like a dreaded monthly task. I know when my period is on its way, my joint pain increases. I become more vulnerable emotionally and place myself into a dark space. My heating blanket becomes my best friend and my disability becomes a little bit harder to cope with when my period comes around. Realistically, periods are not happy and beautiful times where women are frolicking in flower fields with their tampons. It’s lying in bed with numbing cramps and having to spend time properly caring for yourself to prevent things like odor or infection. But with these four period hacks, I hope that this will make your “period week” (or longer or shorter), a little easier:

Track your period with an app!

I found that tracking my period with an app helps me prepare for my period every month, as well as help me understand my body more. I only just started tracking my period this year, and it’s helped ease the anxiety of not knowing when my period was coming and how to care for myself properly. Before tracking my period, I’d always be caught off guard by my period and then I’d have a panic attack because I felt underprepared. Once I started tracking my period, as well as listening to my body, then I felt I was in more control of something that was natural but inevitable. I use the Clue App (not sponsored, I just really love this app!) to track my period. With Clue, you’re not just tracking your period, but you’re tracking your mental wellbeing, your habits, and sleep…just to name a few things! Looking at how much I’ve been improving with stopping and listening to my body and look at how I care for myself monthly, it calmed me down and changed my perception of my own period.

Keep a heated blanket on yourself often!

Last winter, my mom sent me an electric blanket and it saved my life. My psoriatic arthritis/psoriasis becomes terribly inflamed in the cold. However, my roommate was from a colder climate and liked to keep the A.C. on in the winter. I struggled with the cold temperature of the room, often shivering under my heated blanket. We couldn’t seem to find a compromise on the temperature. While it was never hostile, I definitely suffered. Especially when I was on my period. Not ever being able to regulate my body temperature and constantly being cold, increased both my menstrual cramp pain and my joint pain. I am so grateful for my heated blanket and have noticed a difference in coping with both my psoriasis and cramps by wrapping myself in a heated blanket and setting the temperature to “high”. (The great thing about heated blankets is that you can set the temperature and a timer to both save energy and prevent injury if you fall asleep!)

Try some period underwear!

I never thought I’d ever wear period underwear, but I will say it was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. While in Hong Kong, there wasn’t any overnight pads. Our only option was to buy thin daily pads and then these thick period “diaper-like” devices. I actually really liked them, however they were pretty tight and I needed to size up (but I think there was only one size but one size clearly doesn’t fit all!) However, I went to be comforted every night, not worried about if my pad was going to shift and I was going to bleed through my pajamas or sheets. They may be a bit uncomfortable because it’s a new feeling, but I was hooked once I wore these.

Keep water + pain relief by your bedside to save your energy!

There are some days when I take my period harder than others. When my joint pain is inflamed along with my cramps, it’s very hard to get out of bed. So, I keep everything beside my bed so I can save my energy to go eat meals or taking care of myself in other ways. I can also save my energy by using a really large water bottle so that I won’t have to keep walking up and down the stairs to refill my water bottle. I take Ibuprofen multiple times a day for either menstrual cramps or joint pain. Last night my cramps were bad and the worst they been in a while, I took three Ibuprofen and was able to sleep at a decent hour.

Comment below what your period essentials are!

OPTIONAL READ: *I’m thinking about starting a Bible study series! Let me know if this is something you’d like to read!* I’m so excited to announce that I am an affiliate of The Daily Grace! They offer Christian-based stationery that’s super cute, bible study tools, mugs, and even a magazine subscription service! Click the link below to take a cruise through their products and use it when you make a purchase. (*This post is not sponsored by The Daily Grace, but being an affiliate means that I make a small commission when purchases are made!*) : https://www.thedailygraceco.com/?rfsn=2946246.eb8c5) thedailygraceco.com/?rfsn=2946246.…! If you’re not ready to commit to anything, you can start with a FREE bible study and prayer guide!*

Love always,

-TPC

Twitter

Pinterest

Standard
Uncategorized

my 5 favorite movies to watch on a self-care day

Hi there!

As you guys know, I love movies. I always have. The first movie I saw in the theaters was Lilo & Stitch (2001). I was amazed at how a story could be told on a screen, and not just in a book. In just two hours or less, when you watch a movie, you can be immersed in someone else’s story. And sometimes, there’s this magical moment where a movie really imprints on you and affects for the better. I’m still pretty traditional in that I cherish my DVDs. Don’t get me wrong, I love Netflix and I love the portability of Netflix. But my DVDs are forever. I’m the type of person that will see a movie a million times, and still buy the DVD. (Just as I’ll read a book at a library, love it, and will buy my own copy.) I picked five of my favorites to watch on a self-care day. Each day I take a few hours to myself to watch a movie with popcorn (see my disability morning routine) as it gives me a chance to rest my body and immerse myself in another narrative that isn’t me and my chronic illness/disability.

Photo by Charles 🇵🇭 on Unsplash

The Fault in Our Stars

Out of any and all of the movies I’ve ever seen in my life, I always go back to The Fault in Our Stars. I watch it at least once a month, I swear. It’s just something about that movie that’s so hopeful and magical, yet raw and real. It’s witty, and sad. I watch this movie when I’m happy or feeling low, in any mood. I love Shailene Woodley and pretty much every movie that she’s ever done. (See below to The Spectacular Now) I long to go to Amsterdam, because of this beautiful movie.

Me, Earl, and The Dying Girl

I watch this movie when I need a good laugh. But from the title, it doesn’t seem as if this movie is a laughing matter. But RJ Cyler as “Earl” keeps the movie lighthearted and fun, even when the topic of the movie is far from fun. The quick one-liners and awkward moments of silence depicts the reality of painfully quirky high school friendships. I first watched this movie after a friend recommended it in 2015 when it was first released and I bought the DVD winter break of that year. Ever since then, it’s stayed in my permanent collection and I just watched it last week!

The Spectacular Now

Another Shailene Woodley classic. I first saw the trailer for this movie on a cruise ship (while on family vacation) and I couldn’t wait to get back to the States to watch it. But when I got back to the States, I probably forgot to go see it. That was until I was in Wal-Mart and huzzah! There was The Spectacular Now movie on DVD. I got TSN DVD at the same time as getting the Me, Earl, and The Dying Girl DVD, and it was a tough decision–honestly-to pick which one to watch first. This movie also has an emotional place in my heart as I can relate to Shailene’s character, “Amy” on a few personal levels.

Up

I usually don’t cry in movies, but I teared up when I first watched Up. I also watched this movie in theaters with my mom and my best friend at the time. Sadly, we stopped being friends after we saw this movie (we didn’t have problems, but our families clashed for reasons we couldn’t control). I find this movie so pretty and colorful. I recently watched this movie with a close friend when I was at a low in my life, and it helped me. So, I guess this movie represents friendship and healing for me! And the ending is so satisfying.

Toy Story 3

All of my friends know that I have an obsession with Lotso (the bear that smells like strawberries. I know he’s evil. I know he’s the bad guy, but he’s my favorite. I have two plushies of him and a ton of Lotso merch!). Toy Story 3 just gives me the warm fuzzies, because of the ending. Woody and the gang just fight so hard, always stick together, prevailing against Lotso. I just find it to be so cute at the end when Andy gives the toys to Bonnie before he goes off to college. I thought it was the perfect ending. I like Toy Story 4, but I enjoyed Toy Story 3 much more.

Comment down below some of your favorite movies!

*I’m so excited to announce that I am an affiliate of The Daily Grace! They offer Christian-based stationery that’s super cute, bible study tools, mugs, and even a magazine subscription service! Click the link below to take a cruise through their products and use it when you make a purchase. (*This post is not sponsored by The Daily Grace, but being an affiliate means that I make a small commission when purchases are made!*) : https://www.thedailygraceco.com/?rfsn=2946246.eb8c5) thedailygraceco.com/?rfsn=2946246.…! If you’re not ready to commit to anything, you can start with a FREE bible study and prayer guide!*

Love always,

-TPC

Twitter

Pinterest

Standard
Life with Psoriasis

my (morning) disability routine: blogging, movies, and medication!

Not every day is exactly the same when you have a disability. But for me, it’s easy to fall into a routine. I find routines to be very comforting and safe. It gives me a sense of pacing and grounding in my life. When my routine is thrown for a curve (such as when I was in school or when I recently went on my graduation trip–where most things are very spontaneous–I find that’s where I begin to struggle. My routine is not glamorous, or Pinterest worthy, or aesthetically-pleasing. My routine consists mostly of trying to get through the day and onto the next one. But it’s mine…and I’ve accepted it.

Photo by Ioana Tabarcea on Unsplash

6:30 a.m.

My mornings usually begin a little something like this, minus the cat (I’m allergic + also afraid). For the past week, I haven’t been sleeping in. Instead, I’ve decided to take advantage of the morning. After graduation, I began sleeping in until 10 a.m. after going to bed at 3 a.m. I quickly realized that this was not benefitting me, so after my graduation trip when I received my job, I started waking up around 4:30 a.m. Since then, I’ve quit my job for my health (you guys seem to really gravitate to this post) and now I let my body wake up naturally. Usually around 6:30-7 a.m. with no grogginess. However, I do wake up with joint pain every morning and have to wrap myself in my heated blanket until further notice!

7-9 a.m.

I treat my blog, like a job, which then provides structure and routine for my day. After spending a little time pinning on Pinterest and responding to any DM’s or blog comments I may have gotten while I was asleep, I jump right into making my blog post for that day. When I had previous blogs in the past (I used to be a lifestyle blogger right before I got sick two years ago, but quit because it felt unauthentic), I planned every post. Now, I wake up and decide that day. I use Pinterest for inspiration sometimes, but I try not to put the pressure on myself to fit in with what everyone else is writing. I don’t focus on SEO or keywords. I write what I feel.

The first thing I do before writing a post is creating a blog graphic. I use Canva, and have for years. Their interface is incredibly easy and I like their wide range of social media templates, fonts, and colors. *This is not sponsored by Canva, but maybe one day! :)* I then choose any photos I’d like to use from Unsplash (a free photo website where photographers upload beautiful images that are perfect to use for either blogging or social media! No cheesy stock photos here!) After the blog post is written, I spend about another hour scheduling tweets on Hootsuite. I find Hootsuite to be the most effective for me because I can easily copy and paste hashtags from the previous day’s blog’s with their content calendar. Hootsuite also has a mobile app too, making it easier to post tweets if you’re unable to spend time promoting blog posts or other social media things. I schedule my posts and tweets for 11 a.m. EST, putting in as many hashtags as I can. Then, I schedule again for four more times throughout the day. After I started doing this and pinning my blog posts to Pinterest, I noticed my engagement increased little by little each day!

9-11 a.m.

Once everything is scheduled, I usually can relax for a while I enjoy a healthy breakfast. (see what i eat in a day or photo above) Around this time, I try to put my phone down if the arthritis in my hands begin to flare. I try to enjoy the news, but often times it’s pretty sad, so maybe I’ll watch YouTube videos. I really hate scrolling through social media because I found that I can’t enjoy my food when I do this, but it’s a bad habit I need to break.

I occupy myself until my post uploads and my tweets are sent at around 11 a.m. EST. There’s always a lot of anticipation for this. When I first started blogging (not too long ago), I’d constantly be checking my stats and wondering why no one was commenting AS SOON as my post was uploaded. Now I’ve become more relaxed, accepting comments gratefully as they come.

Photo by The CEO Kid on Unsplash

12 p.m.

From this point of the day onward, I don’t have much going on. The pain may or may not have reached a peak. Pins and needles shoot through my back, shoulders, and legs, which is why I get up so early and tackle blog things when the pain is just numbing and annoying. I take first dose of pain medication, which then makes me drowsy, and I fall asleep for about an hour. Then, the morning is over! For these past few days, the pain has been hard to endure. So I take it easy. We’re also experiencing a heat watch, which means it’s dangerous for babies, the elderly, and those with health conditions to even be outside. Frankly, I like staying on my couch. For someone with a chronic illness, this is an accomplishment for me: moving from the bed to couch as it requires to take the stairs, which then inflames my joint pain. I really only have the energy to watch a movie and eat popcorn, so I spend the rest of the day trying to tame my flares and distract myself.

I chose this photo as sort of a confidence booster for myself because often times I am called “lazy” by family members and friends for not being able to be “active” in ways people think I should be. It hurts, but I’m doing my best. That’s all I can do.

Thank you so much for reading! Comment down below one thing that you have to do every day!

I am now taking submissions for guests posts on this blog! So, if you have psoriatic arthritis, a disability, chronic illness, or struggle with your mental health, I want to hear from you! DM me on Twitter or drop me an email at thepsoriasisclub@outlook.com, if you’re interested.

I’m also thinking about creating a Twitter chat for us! Let me know if this is something you’d like to participate in.

Love always,

-TPC

Twitter

Pinterest

Standard
Journal

i quit my job for my health, but now i’m lost.| how i’ve been feeling lately #1

Hi there.

I’m going to be honest with you: I do not feel my best. Mild, but prevelant anxiety has crept it’s way back into my life. I feel as I am in a fog, sort of listless in life. I do not enjoy this feeling in the slightest. But for today’s post, I will just vent and put everything out there. If you’d like to read more upbeat posts about psoriasis advocacy, here are some recent posts:

But if you’d like to stay, you can. And if you’ve ever felt the same way I have, you can always return here and read this post. You are not alone.

I’ve had to quit my job.

After graduating last month, there was pressure to find a job–immediately. I searched for weeks on Indeed, applying as fast as my fingers could type. For about a month, I was swimming in the sea of oblivion, not knowing if I’d ever get a job.

And then huzzah!

A job fell into place. But just as sudden it fell into my lap, it suddenly became toxic. I was hired the day I was interviewed and was convinced that the job would be smooth sailing. However, that wasn’t the case. There were many issues from the start that I pretended didn’t exist. Besides that, the job was physically taxing on my body. Even though I only worked a few days a a week, I was required to transport heavy equipment and move things that I wasn’t expected to while others stood around and watched. On Monday of this week, I came home and my hip was locked so tightly that I wasn’t unable to walk up the stairs. I cried for hours, went to work the next morning, and continued to suffer more. I understood that there was nothing that the company could do about my pain. But besides that, the environment itself was draining and I was often being commanded by the male employees and told to undo things just to redo them and be critiqued. I was also being rushed from the male employees for them only to get frustrated and snatch the work from my hands. Also, a male employee claimed he was “passing by me” and brushed up against me.

I quit the next day, after my manager coincidentally called me asking “how are things?”, and I didn’t hold back.

I’ve felt very alone this week.

Not being in school for so long and not being around my friends has taken a toll on me. I spent a lot of time alone and reflecting, often getting caught in my head and trapping myself in negative thoughts. Not being around people who are like me has caused me to feel very confused at where I am.

I’m struggling with the arthritis pain, upset that I haven’t adapted to it yet.

I’ve been struggling with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for close to two years. But since graduating, my pain has seemed to increased. I’m not sure if the depression/anxiety cycle has affected the pain in my joints, but I’m having a hard time coping. I know the pain is not my fault, but I often blame myself more times than not for how I’m feeling. It’s very hard to function when the pain is this strong. I remember the days (not too long ago) when walking around in the sun didn’t affected me. But now I spent most of my days in bed, blogging and reading, trying to distract myself from the pain. It’s frustrating to have pain every single day and not get a break.

I feel very lost and it’s as if I’m floating.

I don’t like talking about my condition with my friends. I usually just keep everything bottled inside. Just a few nights ago, I did open up to a friend and I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I opened up to them. They were asking questions about the pain, trying to find a situation in how pain related to them. But they haven’t responded to my messages in about two days and I fear that I have burdened them with my problems. I don’t like speaking about psoriasis unless it’s with someone who has experienced the same as me, because I think others without it, struggle to process the severity of it and flee or they say, “I’m sorry,” and we move on. No one is obligated to listen to me. I will not force them to.

Thanks for making it to the bottom, if you did! I’d like to make this a series called “How I’ve Been Feeling Lately,” maybe posting weekly updates on my physical and emotional health. Let me know if I should continue!

I’m currently taking written submissions to be featured on the blog! Send me a DM on Twitter @lepsoriasisclub or send me an email: thepsoriasisclub@outlook.com

Love always,

-TPC

Twitter

Pinterest

Standard
Life with Psoriasis, Mental Health

psoriasis confidence?: i’m still not comfortable with my body

It’s been hard to admit, but I’m still not comfortable with my body.

I still am not content with how I look.

And trying to heal from the scars it leaves behind had been a long journey that I’m still on.

my hand.

This is my hand. I took this photo a little over a year ago. I don’t know if it’s too noticeable, but here (spring 2018) I was already showing the early signs of psoriasis. However, I was misdiagnosed by a doctor, who called it “neurotic excoriations.”

My hands would be covered in these itchy and burning patches that would bring searing pain every time I washed my hands. Then it started spreading up my arms, across my chest, and then down to my legs. At the worst point, I was unable to shower, go outside, and then later…wear clothes.

With psoriasis came hyperpigmentation, skin splitting, and lacerations. From around late fall of last year to early spring of this year (and even now), I didn’t know what it was like to feel pretty. I avoided looking in the mirror. When I did, all I’d see were my dry patches and flakes. Once the lacerations healed, I was left with dark scarring on my back, arms, and legs from the damage psoriasis had caused. I’d wear hats and hoodies every day to cover up my body. I felt ugly, and still do–even to this day. My body confidence has never been high. I’ve always felt I was subpar to the other girls in school. I tried to change myself (see my self image story) to make myself like other girls.

I wasn’t going on dates. I wasn’t hanging out with friends. In high school, I spent a lot of time alone, with my self-depricating thoughts about how I looked. When I was diagnosed with psoriasis, everything heightened. I beat myself up for letting the stress get to me. I blamed myself for forming psoriasis, cursing my body and asking God why He placed me in my own mold. Last semester, I determined that I would fit better in with male friend groups. I struggled with dissociating from my female identity because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to “be a woman”. I wore baggy clothes and a backwards hat every day for entire spring semester, because I didn’t think I was worthy enough to be feminine. (Mental health is an interesting thing, and I’ve never spoken about my dissociation from my female identity until now.)

I don’t think I’ll ever be as comfortable with my body. When I asked The National Psoriasis Foundation about how to cope with the scarring, they said, “time.” Right now, time is all I really have. I try to keep my skin as moiturized, but I can’t help the flashbacks I get when I look down at my skin and am reminded of the days where I’d lie in my bed and my skin felt as if I was on fire, not knowing if I’d make it to see the next day.

There was a beacon of hope when Kim Kardashian West released body makeup, and showed the amount of coverage the foundation provided, especially for people with psoriasis. Kardashian West has struggled with psoriasis for years, often speaking on her struggles, but sharing how she’s now accepted it. I was interested in buying this foundation. But then I wondered if it would really help me gain confidence…if I was just covering up the scarring, without accepting it first?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaZBQ7zDedQ

While I haven’t fully accepted my body or come to terms with it, but I know that there’s a potential to get there.

Thank you all for encouraging me to write this. Comment below what you link about KKW’s “pro-psoriasis” foundation! *Also, do you guys like my new logo??*

Love always,

-TPC

Twitter

Pinterest

Standard